Sunday, August 27, 2006
To the special one:
Thank you for EVERYTHING you had given me. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for your care and concern. Thank you for being so forgiving. Thank you for loving me. But i can't give you all these anymore.
Even when you are gone, i know you are still with me, cause you never failed to be there when i need you. You have been the closest person to me for 17 months but now you are gone, i don't know where i should head for, i don't know what's my next step. I don't know why i'm grieving when i'm the one who had done you wrong.
But maybe this is the chance whereby i could know how much i need and want you and learn to love you again. It's always the sense of insecurity, confusion and grief i see in you. I'm sorry that i've been the source of your problem. I'm sorry for not knowing how to treasure and love you as much as you do. I'm sorry for everything. You must know that you've NEVER been a hindrance to me. You always got me moving on.
Even though i know i'm gonna miss you, and i'm gonna regret for what i've done, but this is the best way out for us. I hope.
You are the greatest person to me. There's no one in my life cares and loves me so much except for you. I'm sure of that. But the one who loves me the most is the one i hurt most. I'm always holding on to this slightest glimmer of hope that i can be who i used to be; the one who loved you as much as you do. But i will never learn to treasure unless i lose that special thing to me. That's human eh? But i don't want anything from you anymore. You gave me so much, in fact, more than what i deserved.
Let's take this as a new beginning for us. I believe so, cause i know this is the only way to make me realise how much i really really need you. And maybe so, i will learn.
I still can't accept the truth that we are no longer together. I'm so used to your companionship, your perfume, your laughter, your gimmick, your stubbornness, your 'theory', your everything.
I want the smile on your face again. And i swear i would draw hundreds and thousands of rainbows just to see the smile. Perhaps i will be back to you one day, provided that i'm ready and sure of my love for you and you still give me that chance.
You make me a better person, you make me realised how important every single little thing is in my life. You have shown the best in me.
Goodbye my lover.